ZuluOne Podcast - 0007 - Family Constellation Therapy - Brother Lyle Muhammad | Circle of Brotherhood • Generational Trauma • Systemic Racism

Today, on the ZuluOne Podcast we have a game-changer. He has been a Youth Education and Human Development Specialist for more than 35 years and is currently serving as the Executive Director of the nationally recognized grassroots movement known as the Circle of Brotherhood- Brother Lyle Muhammad. 

Transcript

Unknown Speaker  0:01  
Today on the Zulu One podcast, we have a game changer. He has been a youth Education and Human Development Specialist for more than 35 years, and is currently serving as the executive director of a nationally recognized grassroots movement known as the circle of brotherhood. Brother, Lyle, Mom, are you sir?

Unknown Speaker  0:21  
I am fine, as I always say, by His grace.

Unknown Speaker  0:25  
Awesome.

Unknown Speaker  0:25  
Thank you.

Unknown Speaker  0:27  
Thank you for coming on as mine good, bro. I'm really excited about doing this I've been following you guys for for about three years, you know, since you guys did the hunger strike. And I'm just really following the your guys movement and wanting to reach out and I didn't really know how and finally got in touch with Mr. Albert. And then through that, you know, started contacting him and invited him to to do a workshop, and then invited you to do a workshop. And one of the things I wanted to say before kind of we started is that how grateful I am and how and ah, I am of your guys's courage, to just kind of the stranger out of nowhere to come in and just be open to, to that opportunity. So it's just, I don't know, there's not many things that that are more encouraging to me than that. Just people's openness to explore new horizons. So I really want to say thank you for them.

Unknown Speaker  1:28  
Well, the honor is ours. And to be truthful, the openness, it doesn't come with a blindness. Yeah, it comes with understanding that there are many, many, many spirits, many, many, many individuals, many, many pathways that are destined to cross. And sometimes you have to go with your, your, your inner guidance, more so than an outer protocol. So while we try to be what I call God, letting God fit, so yeah,

Unknown Speaker  1:59  
that's huge. That's, that's really, I can't I'm, you know, I've got buddies of mine, right, that I used to be in the military, and I've got buddies of mine, and it's, you know, you they're like, you tell them anything, and they're like,

Unknown Speaker  2:11  
I don't, I don't

Unknown Speaker  2:11  
want to, you know, do anything, and just just the fact that you guys did that is really inspiring, you know, the fact that you guys were just completely open to doing that, and I was just blown away by your courage. I mean, that's, you know, to go into some space like that completely, you know, vulnerable is really courageous. And that brought me into kind of, kind of my next question is like, how? How did you guys get into the circle of brotherhood idea, the idea of, kind of men leading this and the vulnerability that you guys have? And the group like, how did that Where did that come from?

Unknown Speaker  2:47  
Right, I really have to start with where the meditation started, if I'm gonna be completely honest about vision, that all of us who call ourselves members of this circle of brotherhood, we come from various paths, various struggles, of course, some collective, some individual, we come from different places in terms of geography, different family histories, and backgrounds. But all of us were born in a time in a space. That was purposeful. And so now to get to the more tangible part of that it was maybe about 20 B 2012. Okay, where are, you know, we've been doing work in our communities for many, many years, some in silos, sometimes together, but in this particular case, there was an individual. Many people are familiar with a, it's a television show, which by the way, I call it tail live isn't just for the record. And first 48, and they do lifetime homicide investigations and so forth. And they spent a lot of time in Miami. Yeah. And Liberty City in the town and detective Ford at that time, for I believe now is retired from the police department, he saw a rash of murders that were taking place, particularly in Liberty City. Okay, and what bothered him about it? He'd been doing homicide for 27 years. I want to pause there and say, Just think about it. First of all, think about being an officer. Doing homicide investigations for 27 years in I could imagine some of the most violent ridden neighborhoods in Miami. But this particular time, what caught his attention is how quickly they were becoming cold cases. It stirred him so much that he went had a meeting with a sitting Commissioner at that time Commissioner Michelle Spence Jones and once he revealed to her what he was dealing with Her response to him was, well, I don't know what to do, but I know who to call. Okay, so she called, it wasn't many of us, she called about five of us together. Some of us were meeting for the first time. Some of us knew of each other's work, kind of but you know, never really haven't done anything together. But after, at that time, again detected for its presentation, we made a promise to ourself that we would never ever again allow our differences or things that dis Unitas to be more prevalent than what we can do together. And what unites us as powerful. And that's the Genesis that gave birth to the circle of brotherhood. Oh, wow.

Unknown Speaker  5:42  
Wow. So you guys were individually doing stuff in the community, as you know, like different organizations, and this detective Ford having this presentation, and was it the city Commissioner that kind of brought you all together and said, hey, let's do this as a team. And let's move forward.

Unknown Speaker  6:00  
Right. And we made a promise to ourself on how we would build that. And it should be noted that one of the greatest trauma suffered in our communities is the repetitive cycle of bandaid approaches. Yeah. And then open wounds. Yeah, the repetitive cycle of historical

Unknown Speaker  6:23  
Yeah.

Unknown Speaker  6:25  
traumas traumas. And I mentioned that because it's important for people to know that one of the greatest traumas that has occurred in our communities is division. Absolutely. Yeah. Division. Yeah. And when people are disunited, there's nothing they can accomplish. Absolutely. And so it was a big deal for us coming together. Yeah. You know, from many different walks of life. Some of us are Muslim. Yeah. Some were Christian. Yeah. Some practice other cultural and ethnic backgrounds, in whether it be religions or ways of life. Yeah. Some of us are from what they call the streets. Yeah. Some Some of us have spent double digit years in prison and others have never seen the back of a police car before. Yeah. all working together. But we made a promise to ourself in terms of starting that we wouldn't make any promises. One of our models comes from a, a great great revolutionary from Guinea Bissau by name of Amilcar Cabral, he says, tell no lies, and claim no easy victories. Yeah. And so we say at first, we must become brothers. Yeah. It's not about us coming together to the idea wasn't to build an organization. Yeah, the idea wasn't any of that, but to first become brothers. And so we started meeting every Saturday, okay, for an hour. Okay. And what was called the the hotspot of the violence, okay, right in the center of Liberty Square. And we would exercise, really, we would exercise? Well, we do some breathing and some stretching exercises, some light calisthenics, you know, little positive exchange of words, and then we would walk the neighborhood. Okay. And as we were getting to know the residents, we're getting to know each other, and then that begin to turn into a, for lack of a better word here. Miami is snowball. Yeah, right back that net into the birth of what we now call the circle of brotherhood,

Unknown Speaker  8:26  
it seems like it started with us an assumption of responsibility. Almost, it's like, this is ours. And I'm gonna assume the responsibility of my community, right? I mean, not not as much as a detailed responsibility, but like a general sense of responsibilities, like this is ours, and we're going to do something about it. Right?

Unknown Speaker  8:43  
Well, I think we already had, you know, those qualities and characteristics. So that was never, ever, ever a question. Yeah. But something about just being aware of the time and the need, not just for us to do something together. But to be more prevalent, the need for black men to be seen in a positive light, loving and solving their problems in our own communities.

Unknown Speaker  9:15  
Wow, that's huge. And so it starts with you guys exercising at Liberty Square, right? And then you guys walk into the community. And so how does that evolve into? Like, does the exchange you guys are engaging with people walking around the community? How does that how did that evolve?

Unknown Speaker  9:33  
Well, what was rooted in the core of all of our participation was love. Hmm. And if you look at Kohl's, for example, you know, a coal can get very, very, very hot. Yeah. But if you put it with other coals, it generates a whole different kind of heat. So now you have all these loving, caring concerned black men. a community that's been void of the presence. Yeah, for many reasons. Yeah. You know, intentional incarceration rates and plans, health disparities, I can go on and on and on and on in terms of that. But can you imagine being a mother or being a child, and not used to being in the presence of that kind of love from where you need it most. And then you witness it. So the children would begin to come up, I could imagine we would build relationships with them. And we started doing activities for the children, oh, wow, people will start coming out and talking to us and, you know, need resources. So we started giving resources to people. And then we begin to have a brotherhood that was genuinely built, and became structured and organized. As we begin to have monthly breakfast, it's okay to go along with the meeting every week, okay. And then the ideas of the great minds of the men of the circle of brotherhood begin to manifest and doing things together. And then one thing led to another, in terms of our formalization. But it should be noted that we have been primarily a volunteer organization. Since 2012. We didn't receive any real significant funding even to staff ourselves till about a year and a half ago.

Unknown Speaker  11:26  
Really?

Unknown Speaker  11:26  
That's correct. Wow,

Unknown Speaker  11:28  
that's incredible. I mean, what a resilient, you know, what a resilient movement that you guys, and just, you know, a lot of people a lot of things kind of, you know, flame out, right. And it's just a consistency of being there every Saturday, weekly basis and building the community, and what have you got? Like, what impact Have you guys seen that, that you guys have been able to kind of accomplish and in the neighborhood got

Unknown Speaker  11:51  
it, I'm gonna take it from a macro into a micro, it was about two years ago, maybe two years ago, 2018, where we were contacted by a national organization that works with black male achievement. And they been in existence for about 10 years in building what they call promise communities, okay, across the country, and they've been in certain cities. And they measure, you know, it's almost like a barometer of activity for black male involvement in different cities. And they notice that, in this particular time period, that out of nowhere, this activity in Miami, is is is what we call on the up crease, as one of my good mentors used to say, you know, and that increase was so significant, that they invited us to participate in their national conference. And that really begin to allow us because remember, we didn't set out to make any benchmarks we didn't set out, don't give me clear men a very clear vision in every aspect of life and human development, and community development and economic development. Yeah, you know, but it was still that concept of just becoming brothers. And so when we realized that kind of impact, and then we saw that what we were doing was really needed in every single urban community across this country. And so, we begin to, let's say, formalize what we were doing, through training, you know, we've always done training that's been one of the cornerstones are one of our models is self improvement is the basis for community development. So we're always working on on sale, even when we were doing those exercise circles, and I'm going down to the micro to the community. Yeah. You know, one of our sayings is that exercise to the body is like, study to the mind like prayer to the soul. And we have all three, yeah, we become hosts, we've always addressed the whole man and so the community's response is overwhelming. Wow. And I must say, overwhelming on every level. I'll take a quote from steel now the sitting public defender in Miami Dade County, Carlos Martinez. Now he's been in office for 2728 years. And he said the circle of brotherhood has become one of the most well known and respected community based organizations in all of Dade County. Now, mind you, we've only been in existence. Technically, if you will, since 2012, but formulize just over the last year staffing ourselves. So what I mean is the uniqueness about it is that we have a deep respect from the street. Yeah. All the way to the halls of government. Yeah. on every level from The children that we work with the mothers of those children, the men who finally found something they can come and get involved in, that is consistent about their personal growth and development along with our community. Having resources. Yeah, I'll put it to you this way. And that small amount of time, we were able to acquire a 58,000 square foot facility, a former Elementary School. Yeah. And just to kind of show you the kind of things people will do when they see you doing the right, you know, so Dr. Dorothy, bedros, Bendigo, on the school board played a key role in the building going to the county, so the county could lease it to us, you know, for $1 a year. Yeah. And we're bringing in, it's not just about us, that same philosophy that we have as an organization, we're bringing in other organizations that do that same type of grounded community work. So we are well, well respected. From the streets. Yeah. All the way to the halls of government. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker  16:04  
I saw that. Um, that's why I met Mr. albourne. Over there, okay. And he's like, hey, just meet me here. And I just came in, I was like, This is super cool. It's the you have the, you know, economic development side, and you have the entrepreneur empowerment side, and then the circle brother. And it just like that is that seems like any successful formula to be able to say, lift up the community and sit, let's get this, let's get this going again, right is like really empowering. from the inside out, right to say, this is like this plant that's growing, that's going to be super fruitful. So

Unknown Speaker  16:38  
it's something important to say about that, about that particular facility. And about our work. As the circle of brotherhood. Many people have heard it said before, that nothing can stop an idea whose time has come? Yeah, nothing. Yeah. And when you look at how the resources came together to support our work, you know, different individuals in the circle of brotherhood who have played key Cornerstone roles, sacrificing their own personal finances, in their own organizational institutions, mind you, were talking about bringing together men that in their own right, they have their own businesses, or they're running their own organizations, and all of us collectively together. But the spirit of how that building came together says it all, for example, a couple of things that are there. We have a butterfly garden. Okay, that's right in the middle in how the butterfly garden came to be, is there was an organization that does urban gardening that had a grant, but had nowhere to put it. Okay. And then of course, people said, You can't have butterflies, they won't come here, but there's a butterfly garden, and there's butterflies there. Now, we have a $100,000 workout Center at the at our facility there that was donated by another foundation and Milton foundation for that. And I'm just mentioning these things, because as all of that comes together, we begin to have the resource. Yeah, let's let's we have to be crystal clear about something. There have always been black men in our communities that had the vision and knew exactly what needed to be done to, to stabilize our homes and our communities. Yeah. economically, socially. You name it. But we haven't always had the resources. Absolutely. And so now when you see us coming together, and at the same time now being able to get the resources to do the work. Yeah, it really helps to magnify what we can do. Do you

Unknown Speaker  18:49  
think timing had anything to do with it, like the timing and social media, the timing has

Unknown Speaker  18:54  
everything to do with it, and I'm going to use it again. Now I'm gonna use a micro example about something that happened just a few months ago. Just shorter the, the pandemic, you know, I got to get the timing right. No, as a matter of fact, I think we were just, we were into the pendant. Because yes, we were having we're having mascot. What have you already described, there was an incident that took place in Miami Dade County. We do a lot of work with the police department in terms of training and helping to transform their view, our view all of that. And there was a woman, Latino woman who killed her child and gave a police report that her child was killed by two black men in a particular neighborhood. You know, Miami Dade police department, they sniffed it out. And you know, I'm director mayor's I gave him credit. He came out right away, you know, and made a statement about that book. So we were going to do a press conference on the need for these relationships to be proved that's a very damaging thing and it could have transpired Two or three days before our press conference, the George Floyd incident takes place. But our press conference already scheduled to take place. So now you can imagine the light, man that is now. Yeah, on our press conference as opposed to and I'm only using that because of timing, man, timing brings focus timing brings our attention to I use timing in this way too. Timing is a roadmap. Yeah. You know, and if you're on the right road at the wrong time, you might as well be in the wrong place. Yeah, exactly. So but timing has a lot, a lot to do with it. And one other thing I think to, in that relationships, I think the greatest key to our success on every level has been because of relationships. Give me an example, I'll lead organization, lead organizer, Leroy Jones, he has some of the most profound and respected relationships with a cross section of politicians, judges, and people in the economic arena, across the span of race, ethnicity, business interests, you name it. But they respect him so much, that the integrity that he brings to our organization allows them to give us the same kind of respect. Yeah, we have individuals in our organization that used to tear our communities up. And you know, in the hood, you know, when you get a rep for being the baddest to the bad, people know who you are, yeah. And they remember you. But then now when they see you transformed, and they see you building your community, and that's huge, the type of respect that they have. So the respect level, for who we are and what we do. It's, it's, it's, I think it's, um, it may be unprecedented. Yeah. as a whole. I know other people in communities have experienced it. But I think there's something different about what's going on right now. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker  22:04  
I can. That's, that's one of the reasons I was so drawn to it. It was like, there's something here that is extraordinarily powerful. And that's needed. Right. And that's been needed for, for generations, right? I mean, this this isn't a, this isn't an oil problem. This is a generational problem that we're all part of systemically, right. So going going back to what you were saying a little bit about relationships? How, how have How have you guys, as the organization grown the relationship with with your local, you know, law enforcement? How is that I can't be an easy dynamic to navigate. Right? How, how do you guys get them involved in understanding? And how does that how does that relationship work?

Unknown Speaker  22:50  
I'll start first by looking at the core relationships of the organization, because it has a lot to do with it. I'll give you an example. Our president, Pastor, Jeffrey Mack, you know, who's also one of our founding members that was in that original meeting that I talked about him, you know, he caught a lot of flack from the Christian community, because he was working with so called other than Chris, he was working with Muslims and Whoa, you know, but he was stood that. And here's where I'm getting to, when we have the fiber to withstand opposition. Yeah, it was true was good. We're gonna win. Yeah. And so we're an organization and representing our communities, that, again, in building relationships, years ago, when we formalized ourself, one of the very first things we did was called a meeting with the different police chiefs in different directors. Oh, wow, years ago. And we did that for for twofold reasons. We got issues in our community, you know, and the police department has issues and our community has issues. Yeah. See, that's the one good thing about the circle of brotherhood, we're not going to point the finger outward without pointing it inward. And so we built a long standing relationship where we've seen individuals come on to police force, and then become majors and captains and lieutenants and chiefs. So so you have to build those proper relationships, in terms of the cross pollination of training, for example, we have a lot to offer, as an organization automatically and as individuals in both our expertise in human development and training and our life experiences. And in order for people to take advantage of that sometimes you have to take advantage of what they have to offer. Yeah, so we initially, matter of fact, we're probably the only grassroots organization in the country that has gone through the actual Police Department's force on force training, really, you know, when you go to the little village that they set up, and you put on series put on the gun with the dummy bullets, and you go through that we we've done Maybe four classes there now ran for four classes of brothers from the street, going through that kind of training. And so we were willing to go through their training. So, you know, they were willing to go through our training. And once you have crania experience, see our philosophy

Unknown Speaker  25:22  
that gave me goose my good man, that's, that's wild.

Unknown Speaker  25:24  
Our philosophy as an organization is based on community wellness. And when you look at the concept of community wellness, there has to be transformation. Yeah, so we don't have programs and if we have experiences to be transformational, so those officers and what they had to say in their testimonies and coming through our training, they will spend the whole day with us. You know, in our training, it cannot be compared to, you know, the implicit bias training, the sensitivity training, we don't even attach those names tool, because it's much more of an experience for those who participate in it. And so the training has become so successful, that certain of those departments we work now with North Miami police department, Miami Dade, the city of Miami, the city of Miami Gardens, Chief press down in key, Biscayne is a great supporter of the work that we do. And so, some of them now, their officers can't come into our communities until they go through our training. Really, right. But now to put the real picture on it, though, the training that we do with the police, we label it as 101. Okay, so there's a lot, lot more that needs to be done. Let's be clear about that.

Unknown Speaker  26:51  
So what is the what is the one on one kind of like a given? Can you give me a 10,000 foot view of kind of what the general strokes of what the one on one looks like? Right?

Unknown Speaker  27:01  
Imagine a training session, where you have police officers in the same training session with former whether you want to call them criminals, ex cons, you know, all together in the same training session. And in that training session, first of all, all of our trainings, deal with the individual first. Yeah, so every human being is taking a deep dive into themselves. Yeah. And as every human being is not only taking a deep dive into themselves, we set an atmosphere in our training, that allows an individual to be comfortable enough to be expressive, and to be open minded to receive as well as to give. One of the things that we've gathered, not in our experience in transformational training is that there are many tools, many techniques, many practices, many sciences, in those of us who do and well, we borrow from many. Yeah, and it's not that one is better than the other. But you know, when you have a toolkit, and if it's working, yeah, you keep working it tool. Yeah. So we have transformative experiences and police officers come out. And we deal with everything in those trainings from personal trauma that individuals have gone through in their life, to understand the difference between cultural realities of people who live in a place versus work in a place. We go all the way back to the core root of race relations. Yeah, in those particular asset. And so I couldn't imagine, it's been a great experience,

Unknown Speaker  28:42  
man, I can't, I can't imagine how transformative and empowering it is to create those. I used to have a boss that would say, you know, she would send us on wild goose chases, right. So she would say, go find this information. And on the way to the information, you'd go with a team and you would create these peripheral relationships, and you'd pick up things along the way. And she would say that it's not, the answer is not as, as almost not as important as what you pick up along the way. And that seems what you guys are doing effectively,

Unknown Speaker  29:10  
right? Because when you build effective relationships, see, one of the things for example, that the pandemic is right on the heels of the pandemic, the worldwide, particularly United States of America, sillman, just with those things happening in the same space, every silo of every community, you know, along with a tenuous election if you put that into the mix, so every segment of society has been activated. Oh, yeah. But as individuals have been activated from what I've seen, from the most part, most people have been activated in the silo of their personal interest. So politicians address that. The pandemic and the civil unrest in the election. From a political perspective, yeah, doctors addressed it. And not that people shouldn't address their expertise. But when you become blind to the fact that you're only promoting your own, you're not seeing the whole picture. Yeah. And when you build proper relationships, you begin to understand, you know, we have allies in every walk of life. There are doctors who are allies against the medical abuses. Yeah, there are police officers, who are allies of the abuses in the atrocities inside a police department. Yeah. And if you don't build proper relationships, you never get a chance to work with those allies. Yeah. And if we're serious about solving our community problems, we have to work in collaborative circles. Absolutely. And that's one of the things you asked earlier that has led to the growth of our organization. Yeah, we're willing and open to collaborate with anyone that wants to do anything of good for our community. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker  31:04  
that's you. I mean, I don't know. Um, I don't, you probably can't pinpoint where that came from. But that's a blessing in itself, it's just the the ability for you guys to be open to that collaboration. And just anything that comes you guys are so receptive, and that was, that's really what blows my mind is leadership, it's leadership. And it's the vulnerable, it's the courage to be vulnerable, as well as to say, you know, this and what you were saying, in the toolkit, I was like, you know, I have this tool with the workshops. And like, you know, this is just a tool it can be used for it can, you know, you can use a screwdriver, try to hammer things, and it's not gonna work, right. Or you can use a screwdriver to screw in screws, and it's going to be very effective to do that. So that's kind of where that came from. I was like, hey, I've got this little thing. And it could be part of your guyses toolkit. And because I'm, I'm not, I don't know how familiar you are with kind of like the systemic view of the constellation side. And I'll go into it a little bit, it's the idea is that traumas inherited from generations? That's kind of the basic premise of it. And that there's an there's a collective kind of knowledge and things right in family systems. And so if you see that in a community, especially in the black community, you say, the abuses and the atrocities that happened during slavery, are still president today. And until those things are resolved, these patterns are going to continue to happen. And that's, that's kind of the thing that draw me, you know, was drawing me to this and say, Okay, here's this tool that can resolve that and resolve that piece. Because there's just a, it's one of the pieces of this, right. And it can work in concert with everything else. And so that's why I was like, so excited when you and this router came, and I was like, This is moving in the right direction. And like, at least, you guys have seen this and seeing the power of it and seeing how this can can can help provide tools.

Unknown Speaker  32:58  
Right, a lot of critical things about what you shared in that in first, just in dealing with individual tie to systemic, yeah. atrocities, or events that produce trauma. Yeah. Even in our approach to problem solving, we use an approach that we call social epidemiology, okay. You know, which means that if you have an individual that is sick, or ill, you, you, you put around that individual what is needed to heal the individual. Yeah, you diagnose. Now, if that individual, collectively with other individuals collectively with other individuals are all experiencing the same things, those patterns lead to not just an individual sickness, or disease. Yeah, but a social one. 100% Yeah. And so I do a lot of study, and practice, in trauma training, and in healing. And first, I'll say that we fight a war on two fronts. We fight on a war front where we as those of us who are practitioners, and you can be a practitioner, just by eating or assisting another human being. It doesn't have to be something that you actually do. I just want to say that for the record, yeah. But we as practitioners, we have to get ultimately, individuals that we are seeking to help to explore their trauma. Oh, in a world. Yeah. That teaches the mat to Yeah. In a so called social and psychological conditioning. Of course, that goes into against the reverse of what we're trying to Yeah, yeah. And then there's a war on another front. Because as society has come to realize that trauma is passed down from generation to generation, we also now have to show that so can healing. Yes. be passed down? Yeah. Yeah. But not without getting to the root cause? Absolutely. So when I'm dealing with an individual, for example, one of the things that becomes clear to me is that if you don't deal with the root, traumatic incident, yeah, or cause or effect, because experience has shown me, and whatever language you want to put it in that trauma episodes link on, yeah, two episodes before then. Yeah, just imagine like a spring, that spring has an originator. And it just continues to link on Yeah, and it doesn't go anywhere. And so the impact of multiple traumas in that individual, empowered by every trauma and previously experienced, yeah, however, if we can get to the root cause of that trauma, we literally cut, yeah, the ability for trauma to link on and even build almost like an immune system, if you will. Absolutely. A human being that. I won't say that, that can be resilient to trauma, but that can understand and have a DNA. Yeah. And the makeup, yeah, to survive and get through and get out of it. Yeah, what we're supposed to get out of it. Yeah. So when you talk about slavery, we have to understand that even though it's 2020, we live in a country that that has not as a whole even come to terms with the grips of reality. Absolutely. That that journey. Yeah. has had. Yeah. on all of us. Absolutely. Yeah. And that is the root cause of the dissension of human relationships, in our country, and on our planet today.

Unknown Speaker  37:16  
Absolutely. You couldn't have said it better. That's, um, you know, it's, I wanted to one of the things that you said before is so systemic, like what is their systemic principles that you're talking about. And one of the, the systemic principles is that I'm out of loyalty to belong to our family system, we resist, we maintain the system as is, right out of loyalty to say, I love this family so much, or I'm so loyal to my mother, or my father, or to my grandfather, or to my ancestors, that I'll take on this burden. And so the the kind of the interesting part about it is that like, we carry a load for somebody that doesn't belong to us, out of loyalty to maintain in that system. And so we have those, that systemic trauma continued to happen. And until what you were saying is that we're able to cut that, that spring, we can be the gatekeepers for the future generations.

Unknown Speaker  38:15  
Wow. You know, you brought to mind some particular work that I've been blessed to do. And I think nothing comes into the atmosphere by accident. And I don't, I don't say this to put myself in a particular light, but only the particular reality, you know, since 19, maybe 94 for 93, or 94. I've been blessed to be involved in national transformation trainings with that 16 to 24 year old population, who is not in school, not in work, you know, incarceration, street gang, you get all of that? Yeah, My point being is part of our process in our training, we do a day where we separate the men from New women. And I've been blessed to for whatever name you want to give it, if you want to call it a healing circle, whatever type I'm just trying to put an image in someone's head, where in terms of that population of young women, I probably have had more exposure to what they had gone through you imagine, you know, these these circles could be anywhere from 20 to 30 or 40 at a time, you know, in the overwhelming majority 95% have been abused in every manner you can think of and in those sessions, 85 to 90% of it is sharing it for the first time in their life. You know, and I have witnessed that 1000s, you going back to 1994? And up to now with that particular same population of young women across this country, I'm in many different states. Yeah. And so that experience has taught me a lot is taught me the importance of that initial release. Yeah. It's also taught me the importance of creating the sacred space that's necessary for people to open up. Yeah. And review. Yeah.